Introducing Bear!

What? You already know Bear?

You're nodding that you know all about Bear who came from Oweekeno was shaved and needed major surgery, starred in a video, recovered, got adopted and came back?

That was BHR's up for adoption Bear.

This

is BHR's Forever Foster "I'mnotleavingandI'mblockingthisdoorsonobodyelseleaveseither" Bear

Yes, it's true. Bear is staying here forever and ever (and knowing the stubborn old goat, it's possible he'll live forever and ever). Due to a number of health issues, as well as the separation anxiety which he exhibited while adopted (and which he shows no signs of here with his furry buddies) BHR and the hornblower clan have decided that this is Bear's home now.

I'z blocking the door againz!

Welcome home Teddy Bear!

I can blockz back doorz too!

*outdoor photos are courtesy of our awesome photographer friend. Indoor shots are mine :-)

And here are two recent news stories about Big Heart Rescue, featuring photos of the dude himself & links to the Pepsi Refresh Everything site, where BHR needs your votes to win funding to start a mobile Spay & Neuter clinic for remote BC communities. We need to get animal population under control in all areas. With your help in promoting spay and neuter, adoption, and responsible pet ownership, the deaths of thousands of homeless pets can be prevented. Please support our work by voting, donating, volunteering and choosing to adopt a homeless pet!

Vancouver Sun

Examiner



full text of articles below the jump - for posterity, just in case they eventually get bumped off the media servers.

I'll be home for Christmas

from the SPCA of Upstate New York



So everyone - can we just say No More? No more puppy mills, no more back yard breeders, no more buying animals on a whim & dumping them when they get too big/inconvenient/not so cute anymore? No more buying from pets from shops. No more purposely breeding & buying mutts when there are already thousands dying in shelters around North America.

Adopt from a shelter or a rescue or buy from a reputable breeder.
How to recognize a reputable breeder?
(hint - they don't advertise in the classifieds, they may have wait lists, their breeding program has specific goals - not just put cute poopsie together with cute mopsy because their offspring will be so... cute!)

One of the funniest (not really) things I heard recently was a woman in a vet's office proudly telling the receptionist that she got her dog from a breeder who only breeds her bitch twice a year; and she keeps the dogs in a really nice warm barn! The receptionist fortunately did not keep her mouth shut & replied "Dogs only go into heat twice a year so she's breeding that dog on every cycle. That's way too much." That, my friends, is your common garden variety BYB, raking in thousands of dollars of tax free money a year off gullible fools.

The pet over population problem is so multi faceted & there are so many things to tackle and ways to help. Fostering, donations to shelters/rescues is one way. But another way to help is to just increase awareness, to not silently nod when people announce they got their puppy from the store or some BYB who advertised in the classifieds.

Christie Keith of Petconnection suggests another thing: Stop Calling it Euthanasia

using “euthanasia” when you mean “killing” is a lie. Just stop.

Shelters - including some in the Lower Mainland - kill some of their animals, sometimes simply because the shelter is full & the animal's 'time' is up. For more remote areas of BC it's even tougher - if there's even a shelter, which there isn't in many places.There are only so many homes available, and when someone fills their home with a pet from a shop or a backyard breeder, a shelter animal suffers & many will ultimately pay the hardest price. It's tough for dogs but it's even tougher for cats (I don't know how cat rescuers stay remotely sane dealing with what they face), and the small furries like rats, hamsters and bunnies. Horses are suffering as well.

I think we can get to a No Kill Nation, one step at a time, and that one step begins with each and every one of us. We can volunteer, donate, and adopt, but we also need to talk - talk about what happens to animals, how many homeless animals there are, & the responsible choices that each of us can make to help reduce the pet overpopulation problem. They need us to speak for them. 

Let's do it -  so one year, animals will not be dreaming of having a home for Christmas, they will BE home.

Guess what

or more precisely, I should say, guess who?

Is back, that is.

 

Ayup. Bear is back.

Bear and his new owner tried really hard but it turns out that Bear cannot be left alone, even for short periods of time.

Bear loved downtown living, was friendly with all his new buds BUT he cannot be alone. He was doing major damage to his new home, endangering himself and others. Like when he turned on the gas knobs on the stove & filled the suite with gas, enough that neighbours smelled it. Oooooops.

We suspect he's never actually been alone - all alone. With me, when left at home he's always had the other dogs and the cat to keep him company. When he was in hospital, I was worried that he'd be freaking out but he was all cool with it, & I now think that so long as other dogs and people are with him, he can cope with pretty much anything (this was an intensive care hospital which is staffed around the clock; as an aside WHY would anyone leave a dog or cat in a vet hospital overnight if there are no staff there??? Did you know that many vet hospitals don't have staff overnight? Before leaving your animal overnight, check if there are actually staff there.)

Back to Bear - it appears that if you lock him up alone, he goes into full panic/must escape at all costs mode.

So, amidst tears & heartbreak from his newly adoptive mom, he's come back into BHR's care. He trotted in, said hello to everyone & promptly went to sleep. Silly old bear.

summer dog, winter dog, good bye dog

Just when we thought it would never happen, a fabulous adopter applied for Bear, met him, loved him, had a homecheck done, met all the requirements and more ...... and 'my' big, hairy, goofy, butt-biting, talkative funny guy has gone to be a downtown dog, to live it up visiting coffee shops & making friends all over Vancouver.

It's been an honor caring for you, Bear. You are the bestest boy.

Oh boy!

As if I needed something new to play with - I just discovered Picnik.



Now I can take a so-so photo, play with it & end up with awesomeness like this.

Of course, having a handsome model helps. Don't you love how Bear is starting to get fuzzy? Isn't he adorable? Can you hear him saying "Hi, I need a home."?

(No, he is not saying "pleeeeeeze can I stay here?!" He's not. Really.)

The timing was right aka TFL's secret powers to make rain go away

It's been raining and cold for what? Like a month? Solid?

But briefly yesterday, the sun came out over the southern part of the Lower Mainland.

Baby (whom I fostered for 13 mos in what seems like another lifetime) came up from the US for a photo shoot with TFL of Three Woofs and a Woo and Big Air Photography fame. You can get a sample of TFL's lovely pix of Baby on her site but meanwhile, I'll torment you with my instant Panasonic SOOC shots. If the subjects weren't so darned cute, it would be hopeless, but between the lighting and the awesomeness of the dogs, it's not eye-searingly bad.




After he finished doing his vogueing (which he apparently at times mistook to mean 'show everyone your LGD tendencies & also, could you really OVER play them! Go on! Really get into character, Baby!') both he & his patient person needed to decompress, & we headed out for a relaxing walk in a little secret place which is doggy paradise if you have a social dog with a recall & a bit like hell if you have a grumpy dog (Daisy) or a dog that runs away and possibly will not stop until he reaches Saskatchewan (Darwin) or possibly both (Baby). We were joined by Daisy's BFF Zyra (Zyra is perfect) and of course sweet Bear (really perfect except when he bites me on the butt) toddled along.

This was Bear's first BIG outing since his surgery and while I was a bit worried that a 2h+ walk would be too much for him, he enjoyed himself a lot and doesn't seem to be any worse for the wear.

Is this the way to Saskatchewan?

I am grumpy. I am. Don't let my smile fool you.

I am perfect. Really. Snark is so undervalued. I just know my rights. Also I have a lot of energy. And exuberance. And you people are SO SLOW. Anyway. Perfect: that's me.

I can't find Saskatchewan because of this stupid leash which you won't take off. And I've momentarily forgotten to be scared of the camera!

I'm black. He's white. I'll just lean against him a bit while I rest.

Literally, Bear at one point decided to lean against Baby. Like hey dude, I'm kinda tired so I'll juse lean against you, m'kay?

Cookies will make me feel all perky again! Give me a cookie or I'll bite you on the butt!

It was a wonderful day & now we're back to rain, rain, rain, wet dog smell, endless washing of towels and mopping up floors. Bleh. That vitamin D good mood stuff wears off fast.

The important bit is this:

If you're within driving distance of Vancouver, you have to have your dog photographed by TFL. Great person, great dogs, great pix. And she needs the money to pay Tweed's vet bills, and also to find Dexter's missing testicle and yanno, food, so she can continue to be The Food Lady. Don't have a dog? I'm sure she can do your cat. Or hamster. Or hairy boyfriend.....if he can catch a frisbee.

Most importantly, apparently when she schedules photoshoots, the SUN obeys and comes out & we all need some more of that sun.

Something is missing.....

Oh hi! Where has my butt gone? I can't see it. I can feel it's itchy but I just can't see it anywhere ......

Mr. My Stitches Itch and I'll Swing My Big Plastic Cone Head Against the Walls So You Get UP and DO SOMETHING About It

He woke me up a few times last night. He didn't seem to realize that I needed some extra sleep as I'd stayed up late to make him a YouTube Star.

Yeah, yeah lady. Quit typing on that computer thing and come here to do some T-Touch.

Gotta run. Enjoy. And please, pass it on.

Better yet, make a donation & then pass it on ;-)

Bear is recovering

Ok, so he's wearing the cone of shame & he's got some happening Borg-like tubes coming out of him.....

....but he wagged his tail, and we had a good long snuggly cuddly visit last night.

He is still in hospital but so far, so good!

Cross your paws for Bear

Bear was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday but he deteriorated on the weekend and got admitted for emergency surgery today. Things were touch and go for a while - his lungs were full of fluid and the vets were worried that they'd lose him inducing anaesthesia but he made it under fine, and once dosed with Lasix & ventilated, his SO2's came to normal range. The surgery was to repair an old diaphragmatic hernia which was most likely caused by being hit by a car.

His liver and loops of bowel had migrated into his thoracic cavity - not a good place for liver & bowel to be, and definitely put a cramp in his breathing.

We had been warned that if, once they had him open, it appeared that there was a lot of damage to the lungs or the other organs, the only option would be to euthenize him on the table.

Fortunately, the surgeon didn't see a huge lot of damage, there were no major adhesions and the lungs appear to be in fair condition.

Now it's the recovery. He's in great hands at the special care hospital & he is a strong boy - so let's hope he can pull through this & have many, many days of romping.

Almost exactly 13 mos later.....

Rocky "Baby" has gone to his forever home.

From the early days of barking, growling, pacing, jumping at every little sound, no leash manners, too afraid to go through doors and halls, skittish and petrified, through training, name change because I needed to speak to his inner scared child, diet change, training, management, barfing in the car, learning to play, learning to eat a bone, more training, racing him in the morning during Christmas to beat him to the tree - because if he beat me there, he'd pee on it, through more training, more hope, more love, more snuggles, cuddles, kisses, all the way to the end, to tail wags and leaning on legs for bum scritches, to mooching treats from strangers, all the way to his new home, with transition plans, scent therapy, Rescue Remedy, relaxing music.....

Thirteen months of him relentlessly fearing my husband, deliverer of bones, pizza and popcorn, giver of meals, tempter with McDonald's french fries and BaconN'Egg McMuffins - all to no avail.

What a journey, what a learning curve.

I wrote to someone last spring that I was in a limbo: I couldn't imagine him staying and I couldn't imagine him going away. She said, one day, the perfect person would come.

And she did.

Baby has gone to his new life. He's happy and already playing there.

Good boy.

Recycling bin of a dog's foster mom

From a couple months ago:



This was right after the recycling was picked up, hence the relative emptiness. It's brimming over by the end of the week.

And yes, he's stopped lifting his leg inside.

Wha ???

It was only five posts ago that I was moaning about time changes.

And we're doing it again???

Seriously. This has to stop. I'm a basket case.

I have had an interesting experience in the last couple weeks. I met two different dog trainers. One I was considering for Daisy. I had a one hour in person chat, asked lots of questions, got lots of answers. I'm not convinced of the wisdom of her methods, but I understand them and her underlying philosophy.

Which is more than I can say for another trainer whom the rescue organization wants to hire for Rocky Baby (who is a dog terrified of almost everyone and everything). We spent a couple weeks playing phone tag because they never answer the phone. Then finally I connected with one of the trainers & he spent an hour talking my ear off on the phone, then he came to do a 2h assessment, was late for it, had all my info wrong on his computer, saw the dog for less than 5 min during that 2h, and spent the entire time yakking about how great & original his approach is, and how all the other approaches were wrong. But. Didn't. Actually. Tell. Me. His. Approach.

Only the vaguest hints and me reading between the lines lead me to guess at his basic philosophies (rank reduction & Jan Fennell. I think. I'm guessing, still. And I'm only able to guess because over the last two years I've read probably over a hundred books on animal behaviour and dog training methods and can put together a sketch with only the smallest hints.) I guess his business model calls for this sales pitch & you slowly get reeled into his expensive program.

Which I wouldn't be paying for so I don't really care about it except I find this business model slimey. I felt like I was locked in with a combination of timeshare salesman, junior venture stock promoter and an Anthony Robbins clone. All talk, talk, talk about all the great things he's achieved and righteous indignation about the wrong paths we've been led down and apparently sincere enthusiasm for what we need to do now, but little concrete information about the detailed how's.

Well. Whatever. It's not really my decision & against all reason, there is still a part of me which is hoping that this trainer will do the equivalent of pulling a rabbit out of a hat or a faith healing, because that's the heavy duty stuff Rocky Baby needs to get over his issues, but the reality is there is no magic and behaviour modification and emotional healing are a long and difficult process and there really are no shortcuts.

This week, because I'm a glutton for this sort of stuff, I go and check out yet another trainer for Daisy (who is a sweet girl except she likes to act like a homicidal maniac when she sees a dog she doesn't know).

At some level, I keep looking for magic.

(& that lost hour).

No fingers were hurt

in the making of this photo.


I don't know which of these lunatics did it, though it's more likely to have been Daisy as I tend to have her on my left.

As you can see, we had a whole bunch of snow - not quite the typical west coast winter. The dogs get terribly zoomie and I figure at some point on a walk someone tried to yank my arm off & the shank of my ring must have been squished by the wedding band. Not a thing I expected to have to repair as a result of "life with dogs" (carpets, yes; couches, yes. Ummm, homeschooling books which were on a book case and got peed on by a certain boy dog who once in a while decides to mark territory? No. Just how does one get out pee smell out of books and papers?)

On the other hand, if I had injured my hand I would have had a brilliant excuse for not blogging for ages. As it is, I don't. We've been busy. We're fine, though yesterday morning I was for a while thinking I'd be blogging about my knee being broken by 200 lbs of dog flying off a deck and right into me. Luckily I just had to swear and limp around for a bit and now I'm back to myself. Still swearing, no longer limping.
Daisy is sometimes so tired that she falls asleep with her head in her bowl.


Amelia finished her first sewing project - this lovely, swirly skirt. She was ably taught by my mother in law who gave her lessons in figuring out a pattern and putting it all together.


Hugo made an ice sculpture. Yes, it is actually freezing cold in this photo. Can we just pretend that we're channeling some British thing about boys in short pants, and ignore the fact that he's not appropriately dressed for the weather? (yes, those are crocs. It's what the modern British schoolboy wears with his short pants. And yes, red is SO in this year.)


And Rocky aka Baby is still here. Still waiting for his forever home.

Meet Rocky

My newest foster.

He's the one on the right. The big one. We think he's a Great Pyrenees X Maremma. He's huge. He's not neutered yet. He's been trying to water my couch. He's terrified of most people, especially men. He growls at Roo. He's stinky and I spent several hours brushing out his mats today & ended up with a pile of fur as big as he is.

He is very warm. He leans on you when he trusts you. He gave me a little kiss this morning. I think he is adorable.

Daisy is IN LOVE. He could care less and has, in fact, been telling her off in grumpy growls. His world has turned upside down and sideways and he's one confused dog who doesn't want a groupie fan girl and no, he doesn't want to play or share his food. It's OK Daisy, he'll come around. And on Friday we're cutting off his dangly bits which may mellow him out a bit. I hope it will help with the desire to spritz everything with Rocky cologne.

On the left is his girlfriend. She's still in the shelter, with their 6 week old pups. They're all still looking for a foster home.

kitty part two

So the blood results are not good. Significant kidney damage. As in, probably only 30% function. Below 25%, kitties don't last long.

As Rachel's still eating well, and there's no sign of dehydration, the vet said she could totter on for months or longer. But essentially we're in palliative mode. There is no cure for renal failure (well, theoretically kidney transplants would do it but you can imagine why that's not a real option) so it's a matter of keeping her comfy.

Unfortunately, she can't have any meds for her back pain.

I've ordered her one of these and Roo's getting a ramp set up for her to use to get to her favourite chair.

Eventually I may need to learn to give her subcutaneous fluids. As the kidneys begin to fail even more, cats drink lots but they don't absorb the water & start to get dehydrated.

Any large infection will finish her off, so we need to keep her as safe & healthy as possible.

I will not accept another foster dog unless it's guaranteed to be respectful of cats. It's just not fair to Rachel. Our current foster Kailee is obsessed with cats. Not in a good - I want to get your autograph - way, but more in the stalker - I want to have your head for a trophy - kind of way. So poor Rachel has been locked in a room for her safety for much longer than is good for her. We do rotate her around, put her in the sunny rooms during the day for her naps; and honestly, mostly what she does anyway is sleep, but still. When there is no killer dog around and the door is open, she strolls around and picks her own sunny spots.

Kailee is in other respects a sweet, sweet dog, and I'll be sad to see her go, but I'll breathe a big sigh of relief over not having to worry about doors being secured and the cat being safely put away. There is apparently a very solid application in for Kailee, so if all the checks go well, she may be going to her forever home sometime in the next week.

the sound of that car

Every once in a while, Kailee goes running to the window, ears all perky and staring intently.

But the car she thought she recognized, the one that used to bring her family home, the one that has her beloved people in it - it doesn't stop. Her people don't come.

I know she's better off without them. I know she'll find a new family who will love, adore and spoil her - forever. I know because this rescue screens adopters very carefully.

I tell her that it's better this way.

But she still listens, looks and waits.

Counting Noses

I have to stop basking in the glow that comes from living in the world's most liveable city & get back to work, which right now means mostly counting noses. And feeding the little mouths under the noses, and cleaning up after the other end of the animals.

On Tuesday, this household swelled by 10 extra noses - 9 rats and 1 dog, all here for a foster stay. Two of the rats left to their new home a couple hours later, but the other 7 (all girls) are hanging out for a week for their quarantine & spay surgeries. They came here from a cruelty seizure in the US (Oregon I think) & were driven up by a series of volunteers known as the rat train. (yes, animal rescue people are incredible and with the internet, so much more can be arranged. People volunteer to drive 'legs' of a route & then pass off the animals to the next volunteer at a pre-determined point. It's really amazing and this particular rescue was arranged on very short notice.)

The ratties are oh so cute, but hard to take good photos of. They are tame, very excited to see people and playful. They move very fast - most of my pictures are of 1/2 a rat in the frame.

Here are some waking up from a nap:


Yes, two of them are hairless.



The rest are all silvery, beigy blondes. Their coats are in bad shape, probably as a result of poor feeding and overcrowding, but they're all sweet and friendly.

In BC, if you're looking for a small companion animal, check out the Small Animal Rescue. I believe most of these have homes lined up already but there are always great animals at SARS looking for a home.

My foster dog is another rescue from a native reserve up north. (I think I forgot to tell you guys that Nelly, my previous foster, found a super home with a young family. She had been with us for just under 5 weeks.) This dog, Kailee, used to have a 'home' for a bit, though I think she never lived inside. I think she'd had a taste of what family life could be but the family abandoned her and she's been living on the streets since.

She is a nice sized girl, 45 pounds, probably husky X lab. She's a very sweet dog but she does have one teeny problem. A couple hours after arriving here, she decided she liked it SO much that she wanted it ALL to herself. She claimed the entire home, yard, all the grass, the people, everything, and was trying her best to convince my sweet Daisy to leave so that she could have all these goodies to herself. She went for Daisy several times & we had fur flying & a whole lot of noise - but thankfully no damage. I keep drag lines (aka leashes dragging) on the dogs during the first few days just for this reason, so I have something to grab at if I need to separate and redirect.

Aaaaack. Not fun. I had to make some frantic calls, borrow a crate (I don't crate normally but this was a necessity) and give Kailee a bit of a time out. She spent a quiet night in her crate & yesterday I reintroduced the dogs and got them to reform a pack on MY terms. Daisy is being ever so sweet, trying to calm Kailee down and just keeping her distance. She invited Kailee to play a couple times but Kailee wants nothing to do with her.

Right now we have more or less peaceful co-existence but I don't leave them together unattended. Kailee did curl her lip at Daisy a couple times today but she seems to be getting the point that it won't be tolerated, and she is calming down. Poor girl. I have to feel sorry for her - imagine being abandoned; she's had to be fight for food scraps and take care of herself. Can't really blame her for trying to keep all these treasures to herself. The fact that Daisy is exactly double her size doesn't seem to be a deterrent. Daisy is being perhaps too sweet. She never responds to the aggression, she just turns away, & I wondered whether she needed a firmer dog to put her in place, but who knows, maybe Daisy's the wiser one, giving this youngster some room for her tantrums. Who knew that my Daisy - the one who, if you met us on the street with your dog, would still look and act as if she wanted to KILL yours - would turn out to be a pacifist at home.

Kailee is a little cuddlebug, very affectionate, loves being petted, adores playing with toys, clean in the house, doesn't pull very hard on leash. She wants to be near her people, enjoys walks, and likes to sit on your lap. How could someone abandon such a sweetie?

a 'smile' for Piper

For some of the best photos of dogs and especially of Mad Teeth^TM you need to check out Three Woofs and a Woo. If you don't know what mad teeth are, check out a post like this one and you'll see lots on a lovely border collie named Piper.

Daisy must have heard me chortling at all those photos and telling everyone about the funny mad teeth & she decided to show me she could do that too.



Shall we see a close up?



They make a bit of an impression, eh? Especially on a 90lb dog.

Nelly wasn't concerned at all, by the way. She had been trying out her mad teeth too but they were wimpy. What she really did best was this:

doctor in the house

I spent the day with the Rug Doctor.

Cunning readers might link this with Nelly's arrival, and certainly Nelly has unfortunately proven to be somewhat dim about the differences between INside and OUTside. But our sweet Daisy is also partly to blame as she, poor girl, is a dribbler. Don't grimace. Odds are it will happen to you eventually, no matter how many Kegels you do.

Anyway, it's been a year since we moved in and did the carpets and it was time. I had done some spot cleaning before and then I was ignoring the carpet altogether because we're supposed to be putting floors in.... but then it became clear that these floors were not going to appear for some time and meanwhile the carpet was looking kind of dodgy and worse, smelling icky.

We used to have our carpets done professionally, once even by Coit who demanded an amount approaching my mortgage payment for their services. For the record, expensive as they are, they do a great, great job. The cheaper dudes were, well, cheaper, and not as good.

Lately we've been doing it ourselves. It's really not that bad & it saves a lot of money. And saving money is something I like a lot. (One day soon I'll tell you how I'm saving $5000.)

So here's how to have a great time with the doctor.

If you're in the Lower Mainland, try to pick the hottest day of the year to do your carpets. Life in a temperate rainforest unfortunately means mould is ever present. If you need to do your carpets more than once a year and can't wait for the summer heatwave, at least pick clear days with low humidity.

I got the machine last night so that I could start first thing in the morning. During the midweek, you can rent the machine for 48h for the same price as a 24h rental over the weekend. Having it longer lets you repeat rooms if necessary or do your car.....

Buy a good quality carpet shampoo. I like to use an additional carpet deodorizer, and due to my specific situation, I was adding Nature's Miracle to the water as well.

Vacuum thoroughly with the regular vacuum.

Pretreat high traffic areas. I used to buy the pretreatment spray but recently I've just been using the regular shampoo full strength in a spray bottle. Spray stains & spots at least 5-10 minutes before shampooing.

You can save money on defoamer if you just follow this simple instruction: fill the bucket with water first and then add the shampoo and deodorizer and gently swirl. Unless your carpets have a huge soapy residue from previous cleanings, this eliminates the excess foaming problem.

Wear clean runners.

Use the machine in straight lines and then go over the same area again, this time making your passes perpendicular to the first go.

The official instructions say to not go over the same spot repeatedly but I do. Bite me. It works for me. The big concern is if you oversoak the carpet and it starts getting mouldy. If you're doing this on the hottest day of the year, it's not an issue. That's why I spent my day here instead of at the beach - I could go over the icky Nelly spots over and over again.

When you're treating pet stain or leaky toddler spots, you must get down on your knees and sniff. If there's a strong icky smell, keep cleaning. If all you smell is shampoo, you're done in that area. If the smell of pee is pretty faint and you've already gone over as many times as you feel comfortable (& you worry that you're soaking not just through the underlay but also the subfloor & possibly the ceiling of the floor below you), do the following: mist the spot heavily with Nature's Miracle (or another enzyme pet stain cleaner) and put a damp facecloth on the area. You want that spot to stay damp long enough for the enzymes to work.

It's a tough balance. If it stays wet too long, you'll get mould & mildew smell. If it dries too fast, the enzymes won't have had time to do their job & you'll have pee smell. If you get it just right, the carpet will smell clean. You will kneel down, sniff, and come up smiling.

There's one more thing. It's THE SECRET. Much better than that other The Secret thing.... This Secret is really great. Not only makes carpet cleaning a snap, it also saves relationships, improves parenting, enhances marriages.



Just slip these on, and then the entire process becomes meditative and immensely satisfying. You make nice neat stripes on the carpet. You see ugly spots and dirt disappear right before your eyes. Dirt is gross. It's wrong. Here you are standing up for cleanliness and justice and all that is good. You can see that you're setting the world right again, and every time you empty that bucket of black water, your heart swells with satisfaction and you gaze with pride over the sea of saxony.

All you hear is a gentle quiet hum and the sound of your own breathing.

Fabulous invention. Crying baby? Whiny children? Long winded argumentative spouse? Incredibly loud carpet shampoo machine which would normally give you a migraine in 30 minutes? No problem. Just slip these on and stay serene.