Brain Full

My brain is full.

Fortunately I have wonderful people at my pity party and my plate and glass are also full of yummy cheese, chocolates and wine.

The 'brain full' thing is awful though. It's especially awful when you are trying to follow the Well Trained Mind, are convinced of the merits of a classical education, and visit Mental Multivitamin (Yes, I'll mention M-mv again. Because it's my pity party and I want to!) See, there's M-mv extolling the virtues of some great interesting and intellectually stimulating book. And there am I groaning, 'but my brain is full!'

Because among all those people I mentioned yesterday, there is also (somewhere) a little person called me. That's the person with a degree in political science and an interest in politics, foreign affairs, and international development. There's also a person there who is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and keeps up with perinatal health issues. She actually earns some money, so she gets special treatment. Then there's the romance author - she's currently the loudest and most demanding - who is trying to write, to learn craft and to stay informed about the industry. Who else.....? Oh yeah, the knitter person. She's a bit loco but she's armed with dpns so humour her in her desire to stare at yarn on the computer. (I can't tell you how many hours she's wasted simply staring at this) I think there are a couple other interesting types somewhere in there but they've been ignored for so long that they've gone to sleep. There used to be one who muttered a lot about boats. I think she's been pushed overboard by the others.

There is also this weirdo who wants to sleep (alone), exercise (alone) and get some quiet (alone). Quiet! Just be quiet and have nobody talking to her! Is that so much to ask for????

My brain is full. It's as full as my purse gets when I haven't cleaned it out in several months. There is so much stuff floating around in there that there's no way to get at anything when you actually need it and it's just a jumble of crap. Well, isn't that the total antithesis of a well educated mind?

I was reading a book review in The Economist a couple weeks ago and marked this book down on my TBR list based on the last paragraph:

"rigorous, readable intellectual history for the reader who would never buy a work of pure philosophy, but wants to know why people think the way they do. If accessible books about ideas are becoming increasingly popular, it is perhaps because many liberal-humanists (including the canal-dwelling Dutch bohemians who today inhabit Spinoza's old haunts) feel nonplussed by the muscular Christianity of the current American administration and a resurgent Islam that puts God at the centre of its world."

You know which phrase got me? Well, there are a couple but the one which really convinced me was "would never buy a work of pure philosophy".

And then I thought, but what would M-mv and Susan Wise Bauer do? Surely they wouldn't sit in the camp with those who would never buy a work of pure philosophy. But that's where I am now. I've bought pure philosophy in the past. I've read Spinoza. I read tons of philosophy as part of my political science degree. And it's all just jumbled in my brain, along with the symptoms which differentiate a fungal infection of the nipple from a bacterial infection, the names of central bankers and their positions on controlling inflation, how to make a picot cast-on edge, how many people are dying from AIDS in Africa and what Stephen Lewis wants us to do about it, ways to maintain sexual tension in a romance novel while advancing plot, tying a bowline, and removing vomit stains from carpet.

Too much information, too many facts. And going on any hs support list when I'm feeling down just drives me crazy because inevitably someone starts talking about some great resource for King Arthur and a website about chemistry molecules and it all sounds so interesting and so I follow it up because the anal Educator side of me really likes to be ultra-prepared for any subject that might conceivably come up in the next 20 years.

So. No more information, please.

And, no more choices please. One of the many reasons we're keeping on with the Well Trained Mind is because I made that decision once and I don't want to revisit it. That's it. That's what we're doing. Too much choice causes so many headaches. (somebody even wrote a really good book about it)

So pass the chocolates and wine. But don't make me choose between the Shiraz and the Cabernet Sauvignon and don't tell me why unpasteurized brie exists and how it's different from, and superior to, pasteurized brie. (I can't tell you how much agony it's causing me to not google this, but......)

Brain is full.

I'll pass kleenex (cause we're not done until we've had a cry about how shitty this is) and then we'll watch chick films (and pause and replay all the good parts until the DVD player freezes up) and we'll all feel better in the morning.

And when it's your turn for a pity party, I'll be there with wine, cheese and chocolate. Because sister, THIS IS HARD.