pass the brie

I finished the last whine with the admission that it’s all my fault I can’t find anything. In fact, the homeschooling mother can take the blame for absolutely everything because she is demented enough to take on so many tasks. Among the many hats she wears, with the attendant duties, are:

Educator – having made decision to homeschool, keep abreast of pedagogical methods and curriculum choices. Teach children. Assess whether children’s progress is adequate using a very liquid and constantly changing definition of “adequate”.

Child psychologist – know when to cosset and when to administer kick in pants. Understand development of children’s psyche and encourage positive behaviours which are in line with developmental stage. Kiss away tears, including those that come in the middle of the night because someone misses ‘the old apartment’.

Nutritionist/Healthy living coach – create endless meals and snacks and obsess about proper healthy development of children’s growing bodies. Stay on top of BMI calculators. Determine which nutritional supplements are appropriate (take into consideration the manufacturing processes and heavy metal contamination of deep water fish) and remind children to take them daily. Encourage appropriate levels of physical exercise.

Medical practitioner – triage all medical conditions. Determine when colds, cuts and rashes are of a severity requiring professional medical attention. Kill toenail funguses. Make appointments with doctors, specialists, dentists. Take children to appointments. Investigate all possible health hazards and assess real risk. Ensure all preventative health activities are undertaken – personal hygiene, grooming etc.

Social manager – (Socialization is not an issue; socializing is.) Organize outings, playdates, classes. Investigate availability of classes and events which children may wish to attend in order to see/make friends and pursue/develop interests. Consult with educator, child psychologist and mother to asses appropriate balance of home & away, alone & with friends. Chauffeur children to events as required. Consult with financial manager if expenses will be incurred for children’s activities. Social manager is also responsible for keeping up with adult friends of the family, for remembering everyone’s birthday and for arranging social get-togethers and socially acceptable intervals.

Home manager – clean, tidy, do laundry, find stray toys, locate the missing sock. Clean up when children sick on carpet. Arrange acquisition of clothing and other items for family members as required. From time to time, may need to actually find suitable home to live in (in which case packing and moving will also be required).

Financial manager – pay bills, make budgets, keep track of expenses. Bonus points if you can actually make money appear in the bank account. Plan retirement and establish adequate funding for children’s further education.

Mother – soothe and nurture. Do everything not explicitly mentioned anywhere else.

But when I look at that list, the homeschooling component doesn’t seem to be that big of an issue. Keep abreast of pedagogical methods & curriculum choices? Teach children? Assess? That hardly takes any time at all….. it’s really just an 8 hour/day job. No biggie.

It’s all the other stuff on top of it that drags me down.