Recently, a craft blogger complained, for lack of a better word, about some of the comments she was getting on her blog. She even quietly threatened to take her toys and go home. Her wish was for a positive, supportive community. I don’t know what the comments were (I’m thinking she either deleted them, or they were so few that I didn’t find them, or she’s terribly sensitive) but obviously she found them not supportive.
Then there was a rush of pleas and encouragement to this blogger saying words to the effect of ‘but you’re so great, don’t let them get you down’.
Sycophants.
This woman’s blog has become quite popular. It gets a lot of traffic & a lot of comments. Are they all supposed to be positive? Is that what we want? Just to have our egos stroked? Is that what the comments field is about? Should we all go into our templates and rename it “good things people have said about me and this blog”?
Don’t get me wrong. I LIKE this woman’s blog. I enjoy visiting it. I think she might have book deal in the works (excuse me while I go wrestle the green monster back into the cupboard....)
This “only say nice things to me” business is strange. When you blog, you’re putting yourself out there, in public, and inviting comments. And honey, when that book comes out, you can bet your bottom GBP that not everybody is going to love it. And someone might even post a less than glowing review on amazon. Get ready for it now.
People sometimes say that they expect visitors to their site to behave as if they’re in the host’s living room. Wrong. We are not in your living room. You are in the town square, yelling your little head off. Sometimes people will stop and listen, and sometimes they’ll say something back. You can always stop making your blog public. Or you can turn off comments. But otherwise, you’re standing on the speaker’s box, speaking to whoever will listen.
Issue #2 – “Stay on topic & specifically, don’t discuss politics unless it’s a political blog”
This is an unwritten rule but breaking it results in cold snubs. If it’s a craft blog, don’t discuss Lebanon. If it’s a homeschooling blog, don’t discuss Iraq. If it’s a dog training blog, don’t mention Darfur. We’ve come here for one aspect only and that’s all we want to hear about and please shut up about the rest.
That’s clear and simple, isn’t it? Well, not quite.
For one thing, many blogs do not stay on topic. There are some that do – the recipe of the week, the ugly dress of the day, the stupid dog photo. But many, if not most, stray into personal quite often. Little mentions of holidays, of books read, of trips planned, of garage sale finds, of birthdays celebrated, of bad moods endured, of hospital visits feared.
And we all remember all those little USA flags that popped up after Sep 11 on blogs, personal websites, and corporate websites. And then came the dilemma.
How many people have to die for it to be OK to mention it on your blog?
Where do they have to be for it to be OK to mention it on your blog?
What nationality do they have to be for it to be OK to mention it on your blog?
Do you put up a little Spanish flag after the bombing in Madrid?
Do you put up a little UK flag after the bombing in London?
What exactly should one do about the flags of Iraq and Afghanistan and Lebanon?
Or do you just ignore it now? You can always go back to just discussing intarsia and science curriculum.
Corporations don’t have it any easier. Until recently, my husband was CEO of an internet company. This company’s clients are global and in an industry which has a high rate of injury and death, especially in developing countries where safety standards are, shall we say, lax. Their dilemma was that if 10 North American employees died in a single incident, that would be a huge story, worthy of a ‘sympathy button’ on the site (our hearts are with the families of …..). But if 300 employees in Honduras or Ghana died …. well. Do we really need a button for that?
So tell me. Is your blog always on topic? And if it sometimes strays, what does it take for you to address a political issue?
(oh, and remember, be really nice to me)
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10 comments:
We're supposed to have a topic?
It's funny how many people don't get that if you put your opinion out there, people MIGHT just disagree with you. And they might say so. And - gasp! - that's okay, and you will live.
I discuss politics rarely. If you ever read my husband's blog (which I suspect you would hate ;-) you'll see that he pretty much only blogs politics. And at home, he talks politics. All the time. We talk politics as a family, all the time. I get enough of it in real life. I don't want to talk about it on my blog, unless I just can't help not doing so.
I love it when Hornblower gets on her soapbox :-D
As far as blogs go, I am always, always aware of my audience. Anything I write has to be something I think that audience would want to read. This is why I have multiple blogs.
You've hit on some interesting points.
I know you were talking about blogs (here I go getting off topic), but I always have to roll my eyes when someone writes a huge post on an internet message board about why they're leaving that particular board, only to receive dozens of follow-up "Oh, please don't leave" posts. If you're leaving, say, a church, listing reasons might be necessary, not an internet message board.
I don't write about politics much on my blog. Mostly because I've grown so cynical about the entire subject that I can hardly work up the requisite energy to do so.
The few times I have broken out of my homeschooling/writing/crocheting haze has been when I read or hear something that hits home a bit personally, such as after the last national U.S. election when I kept hearing things along the lines of, "Conservatives in the red states are all inbred and illiterate." Or the time a woman called into a question and answer session on C-Span's Book TV and never managed to ask a question because she was so busy bemoaning the fact that she lived in Ohio among evangelical Christians.
That's not to say that I don't care about other things that are happening, but when there's already thousands of news channels, blogs, newspapers, radio shows, etc., beating the subject to death, I don't feel the need to belabor it further.
The few times I've had someone vehemently disagree with me, they've chosen to e-mail me and kept it out of the comments.
I have tried to post a couple of times but life keeps getting in the way. I will try once again.
I have struggled with these questions. My blog is all over the place, as you well know, but I have tried to keep politics and religion out of it (my Southern Belle upbringing still haunting me). Yet, when I read other people's blog I expect to see politics, religion, or (the other Southern social situation discussion no-no) sex even if it is a farm blog or homeschooling blog. I enjoy seeing the opinions of others who live in different places and live different lives. It gives me a sense of the true nature of the problem and person. The same goes for newspapers. I don't read only one. With the internet, I am able to read a variety and get a broader version of the truth.
As that Southern Belle training tells us, if you bring up politics or religion be prepared for whatever happens. Issues with strong emotional sentiment typically bring out the worst in people and everyone has an opinion. Polite conversation will most likely cease and the party will end when the hot issues are broached.
All that being said. I believe that if you feel strongly enough about an issue to accept the consequences of speaking out you should write about it. The consequences may be that you lose a few readers or get an ear full from the other viewpoint.
My blog may have more than one topic per day. But, I can say what I want and people can read and comment if *they* want. NO whining on either side,please.
I probably don't stay on topic because I don't do that in real life, either. I'm too busy chasing chickens so to speak.
And by the way, your hair looks beautiful today.. (you said to be nice....)
Thank you for this entry.
As someone who sometimes differs with your political views, I wholeheartedly agree with your post here! If we were here to stroke each other's egos, or to strictly stay on topic, what a booooooring world this would be!!
Hurrah for your honesty and pointing out the potty behaviors in some bloggers.
(Yes, I said potty behaviors. It's my term. Mine. If you don't like it, get off my comment entry. Mkay?)
Moooom! LaMai used the word potty in my blog!!!!!!
Everyone - thanks for stopping by, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate reading your views.
& navhelowife (which btw, I always say to myself as Navy Hell of a Wife) - thanks for noticing my new haircut! I actually did just cut it.....
I'm with Wisteria on usually staying away from politics. I'm pretty moderate (except when it comes to GB, who I can't even think about without having my blood pressure shoot up), and these days, that seems to mean that most people disagree with me. I'm not clever enough to do a good job articulating my opinions in the space of a paragraph or two, and if I'm going to offend someone, I'd prefer it wasn't because they misunderstood some political comment I made.
However, I much prefer Reading the blogs of people who include their thoughts on politics, religion, etc. Not only do I learn from reading their remarks about these things, but it makes them seem much more real. I don't think I have any friends or family with whom I agree on all issues, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested in what they have to say.
On the topic of positive comments, I agree that you can't expect everyone to agree with you, but I would expect those who disagree to do so in a civil manner. Dh and I were shocked the other night to stumble across a sort of talk show on FOX where the hostess, clearly very conservative, "interviewed" liberals by asking them unanswerable questions and then rolled her eyes and interrupted while they tried to answer. We couldn't stand more than a few minutes, but I was stunned to realize that there must be an audience for such unproductive squabbling. Opposing viewpoints are fine, as long as they are put in respectful way. When it comes to politics or religion, though, I don't think any one is going to be converted by reading someone's blog.
Coming late to the party here.
I'm not much for staying on topic, whether in conversation in real life or on the blog. Usually the blog gets whatever worms its way out of my head, or is something I want to keep a record of (such as a list of books on a particular subject).
I tend not to write much about politics because I've found others tend to say it better and I end up just agreeing, or religion, because I get enough of that in real life redneck Alberta, thankyouverymuch...
Coming very late to the topic here but I have to echo stephanie in tx. We're supposed to have a topic? No one told me that...
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