Federal Election Poll

I can't believe this poll isn't getting more attention. Here is the full press release.

CISPG releases latest poll

The Canadian Institute of Social and Political Gastronomy released the results of a new poll, addressing Canadians' opinions of the five party leaders. The poll, conducted after the televised French and English debates, asked a series of questions aimed at discovering whom Canadians would most like to have dinner with.

Crossing gender and sexual orientation lines, M. Gilles Duceppe garnered the most support. Responders noted that they believed M. Duceppe would be knowledgeable about all the wonderful, small, intimate restaurants and that furthermore he probably had a moderate to high knowledge of wines without being snooty about it. M. Duceppe was also picked as most likely to go to a dinner and dance club, and is believed to be proficient in a variety of social dance steps but also able to let loose in the modern dance clubs. For English voters, his accent was listed as a moderate benefit, with several responders indicating they'd love to hear M. Duceppe whisper 'federalism' or 'sustainable development' in their ears. M. Duceppe is believed to be a good singer and to occasionally indulge in a romantic ballad. Well over half the responders believe M. Duceppe knows a lot of dirty jokes.

Voters did indicate that they felt this relationship may be doomed due to irreconcilable differences on the topic of Quebec but they overwhelmingly indicated that they believed a series of dates would be very worth it, and that they believed any break-up would be amicable and they'd remain friends. “Oh, I know it wouldn't last! But it would be fun and he's the kind of guy who'd call up out of nowhere months later and we'd go have fun again!”

Ms. Elizabeth May and Mr. Jack Layton tied for second place. Ms. May's strengths were listed as her humour and perceived willingness to discuss other people and have a good, scathing gossip. Voters indicated Mr. Layton's quick wit as a benefit. Both candidates are perceived to have good to excellent knowledge of all the best places to eat. Voters also indicated that they felt conversation would flow comfortably and there wouldn't be any of those awkward pauses. There were small reservations from a number of voters who were uncertain if Ms. May had strong opinions on the consumption of meat and whether factory farming would enter the dinner conversation. As for Mr. Layton, voters had concerns about how the paying of the bill would go: 40% felt that Mr. Layton would be generous and would pay the bill, but of that 40%, well over half (58%) wondered whose credit card he'd use; 40% believe Mr. Layton would want to split the bill with his date; and 20% believed Mr. Layton would disappear when the bill was brought.

Ms. May received extra points for her encyclopedic knowledge of facts. Voters felt that when the people at the table blanked out about some fact or name, Ms. May would supply it before the others could check wikipedia on their blackberries. She was given extra points for being humble about this skill.

Mr. Layton is believed to know how to knit and to be willing to share his skill with anyone he meets. Voters believed he's the kind of knitter who brings a small project to a casual restaurant, but not on the first date.

Voters' perceptions of M. Stephane Dion were conflicted. Over 80% said they'd accept an invitation to go to his house for dinner. Many commented they would like to meet his dog. Only 30% said they'd consider inviting him to their house. Explanatory comments from voters included “He seems really nice. But you know, a bit dull?” as well as “If I'm at his house, it's easier to leave. I'd be worried about him coming over and staying too long. And he's so nice. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.”

Voters were slightly more willing to go out to a restaurant with him, again because the opportunities to leave early, if necessary, appear greater. Surprisingly, M. Dion's accent did not garner him extra votes. Voters who were enthusiastic about going out with M. Dion indicated that he probably knows a lot of poetry and jazz clubs, and owns many black turtleneck sweaters. They would happily go to the movies with him and would enjoy strolling in the moonlight with him. They also said that they believed him to be very generous and to have a lot of high quality camping equipment which he would lend to good friends. M. Dion garnered extra points for his gentleness and kindness.

Mr. Harper was the voters' last choice for a dinner date. Voters indicated that they perceived him as controlling. “He probably orders for everyone at the table, and tells the people at the other tables what to have too.” was a common comment. Many responders also indicated that they believed Mr. Harper is not a good listener, and would look bored and supercilious when they spoke about themselves. Most believed that he is the kind of date that takes you to a cheap place and then spends the entire time talking about himself. Voters also believed that he's the type of person who 'checks out' the other people in the restaurant rather than focusing on his date.

Voters were split on his punctuality. Forty-nine percent believed that he'd be late because he'd be changing from his sweater to his suit several times while deciding on his image, and would be slowed down by the need to apply more pomade to his hair. Fifty-one percent believed he'd show up early and then make his guest feel bad for not being 'on time'.

A very small number of responders who self identified as Conservative Christian women, as well as one Conservative Christian man, indicated that they have had impure thoughts about Mr. Harper but they've all spoken with their pastors about it and are working on overcoming this. These responders would not want to go out with Mr. Harper or anyone at all, as they're not allowed to.

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