It's a basic concept

I was once asked to fill out a 'getting to know you' form on an e-mail list, and one of the questions was to disclose a phrase you use a lot.

I really couldn't think of anything and had to ask Roo, who replied without having to think about it at all. "It's a basic concept. You say it all the time."

Well. That gave me pause for thought. I knew know righteous indignation was is my default setting and I was am working on it. I was am also working on patience, as that virtue was is elusive in my life. The thought that practically every sentence out of my mouth was prefaced with 'it's a basic concept!' was a little disturbing. So thanks Roo, for holding up that character mirror so that I could see that I needed to suck my gut in.

Nevertheless, even though the phrase should have no existence in the parlance of a patient and kind homeschooling mom, I had to dust it off and use it yesterday.

(Not to my children of course.)

Does not every female* know that if a female whinges to you and presents a story of great injustice being done to her, the correct response is always, absolutely always, an expression of sympathy and horror that such a horrible fate should have befallen her?

You do not say "Well, (the other person) probably has a point. There are two sides to everything, aren't there?"

No, there aren't. I'm whinging because of this shitty situation and right now you need to put on your righteous indignation voice and share in the misery with me.

Later, sometimes much later, (and sometimes never), it may be appropriate to say something like "I guess she was really upset and that's why she did that to you." Yes, we all know about empathy and reasoned thought and putting ourselves in the other person's shoes.

But not in the middle of a whinging session. It's a basic concept.



*many males do not get this and I'm not sure why. It's a basic concept, and you'd think they'd understand it, as it's an issue of loyalty and allegiance.

If a person says they were wronged, the first thing to do is to express undying allegiance by declaring the wrong-doer a persona non grata. Males do not have to use the righteous indignation voice. Just saying bastard or bitch is fine too.