excuse me while I breathe into this paper bag

Yes, I'm having just the teensiest bit of anxiety.

WTF? How did it get to be August 29? Is that allowed? Did someone authorize it to be August 29? Because I sure didn't. If you had asked me, it would be June 19. That's what it feels like to me. June 19.

I need to start thinking about things like learning plans. I actually need to do more than start thinking. I need to have 2 of them done by tomorrow for a meeting with the rep from the place we chose to enroll at.

Choice. I like that word. But right now it's not calming me. We have chosen to be enrolled at SelfDesign for the last 3 years. It is our choice and we do it for the money. But as there is no free ride, it involves some work on my part, beginning with creating a learning plan for each kid at the start of the year. The LP does not have to reflect the provincial learning outcomes and can be amended at any point throughout the year. Which means essentially the kids can learn what they want (and what I want them to learn) and not be bothered with the inane things that the province deems appropriate. Which means you can write all kinds of things in the LP but still, you do have to write it and have it make some sort of sense. Then, throughout the year, I have to log 25 hours of learning each week, and write about a page/student, describing that learning in a bit more detail (also weekly, all submitted electronically). This usually takes me 1-2 hours per week total. All for $1000 per kid for a 34 week school year.

I believe this is the best option in BC for traditional homeschoolers who also want to get their hands on some money, if they are pretty fast writers. Families who want to follow the 'curriculum', who want to be given materials, who think letter grades are helpful, who want to do school at home - may be happier with one of the public school portfolio programs. We participated in a portfolio program when Amelia was in Gr. 2 and there is no doubt that it was easier than anything I'm doing with SelfDesign now. But things have changed, and I think the portfolio programs are not as easy anymore.

I have a couple big issues with enrollment options. If a program issues letter grades for Grades 4 and up, it's scratched off immediately. IF my kids, at some later time, when they're more in charge of their learning and the reporting for it, choose to do a letter grade program, then they can do it. They will then be responsible for the grade they earn. Currently, in these early grades, the children end up being graded on the quality of the work the parent submits (how creatively and completely they put together a portfolio). I won't do that sort of crap.

Our second issue is that I won't make the kids do stuff just because it's on the provincial curriculum. So all the programs that say 'for Social Studies you must cover North American Native People and for science you can choose 4 of the following 6 topics.....' - scratched off. I choose our curriculum and it is mostly based on the WTM. And being a rebel, I don't follow that slavishly either. We detour and meander and get things catch our interest. And with SelfDesign, that's all fine.

I have heard about the portfolio mad scramble; that last week before portfolios are to be handed in (3x a year), when mothers turn into hags and force their kids to sit at the table and do worksheets on inane topics which nobody has any interest in, or maybe they were interested in the topic but don't want to do the worksheet, but it all doesn't matter, because damn it, we need it for the portfolio so quit your kvetching and just do it (accompanied by laser eye stare at the cowering, weeping children). I don't need that. I turn into a hag all too often already and I don't need any more pressure.

And of course, in BC we can still 'just homeschool'. No requirement to do anything except notify the Ministry that you're doing it. No testing, no oversight, no interference. No money.

I was mulling all my options this summer. I was hoping for some sort of definitive wise answer to plop in my brain. That's why summer can't possibly be over. Because there is no definitive answer yet.

My options are:
1. continue as we have for the last 3 years, enrolled with SelfDesign (an independent school)
PRO - $, & academic freedom
CON - by last spring, I was hating and dreading the reporting. How many different ways can you say the same thing?????
PRO - I'm a creative writer dammit. Surely I can handle it?
PRO - Those reports and journals are kind of interesting to read waaay after the fact.

2. register (the totally hands-off option in BC)
PRO - no need to log anything, total academic freedom
CON - no money. And no record of what we've done because it's likely that if I'm not forced to do it, I won't manage to record anything - even if it's just for posterity. So I'll feel like we're not accomplishing anything......So I'll turn into a screaming hag anyway, freaking out about all the stuff we should be doing.

3. register the older one and put the younger one in a portfolio program (no letter grades for K-4 in any program so that's OK)
PRO - portfolios are a bit easier than the weekly reporting
CON - even in Grade 2 I would have to pay attention to the provincial learning outcomes. Mind you, they're inane and we've covered them already by living and breathing but still.......
CON - 1/2 the money
CON - have to deal with the public school system

Technically, we have until the last day of September to make up our minds. Practically, the schools are starting to freak out about the number of homelearners who are switching in September and they're doing their best to start herding us into our pens as early as possible; viz. my meeting tomorrow to go over the learning plan.

OK. Back to the bag.