How to Run a Crummy DEL in 10 Easy Steps

Those of you not in BC might not know about DEL’s, so here is a brief history.

First, homeschooling in BC was illegal. Then the right of parents to teach their children at home was enshrined in the School Act (yay Sections 12 & 13!). And then, some canny public school districts started offering Distance Electronic Learning (DEL) programs for homeschoolers. In the wild pioneer days, even hard core unschoolers could find themselves happily ensconced in one of these programs. Why did the homeschoolers bother? The money, of course. You see, that is the carrot which pulls traditional homeschoolers to DEL’s: dollars to use for all those classes, art and science supplies, and endless piles of books. Why did the schools bother? The money, of course. The school district receives a pile of cash from the Ministry for enrolling these students, and they pass only a fraction on to the families.

Fast forward a few years and practically every school district and independent school is trying to set up a DEL (which got renamed DL but that really is beside the point) and lure homelearners to its electronic portals. And now, here are the 10 Easy Steps which pretty much guarantee failure if you’re trying to run a DEL. For administrators reading this – let me make it clear – this is NOT the way to do it.

1. Assume all homeschoolers are the same.

2. Make absolutely no effort to learn anything about homeschoolers and the various homeschooling philosophies. Do not try to find out why people are homeschooling (you might hear something uncomplimentary about yourself). Do not read books by John Taylor Gatto, John Holt, David Gutterson or any other books about alternative education.

3. Insist that school, education and learning are all synonyms. Worksheet almost belongs on that list. Textbook definitely does. So do IRP’s and PLO’s.

4. Before starting your DEL, make no attempt to contact any other existing DEL’s – especially the successful ones. Do not make any effort to find out how they function, or how they balance the needs of the families and the Ministry requirements. Do no research whatsoever. When asked about other programs, look blank.

5. Treat parents like slightly dim foreigners. Speak slowly and clearly. Bonus points if you use your preschool teacher voice or your brusque teacher/administrator “I’m so smart you can’t even comprehend what I know” voice.

6. Remind parents ad nauseam that they are not teachers. Make sure they understand that they are absolutely not to teach because that is a function reserved for BCTF members or other enlightened people who have studied ‘education’ and survived being a spat-on substitute teacher in Surrey for 6 months.

7. Have regular meetings, in person or electronically, (bonus points if you make attendance mandatory) with parents at which you waste their time by implying that anything parents say actually matters to how you’ll run the program. Bonus points if you can hijack the meeting and lecture the parents about the many benefits of school institutions such as schedules, testing and report cards. Many bonus points if you can set it up to have a room full of tired mothers who have other places to be, listening to suited, brief-case toting professionals.

8. Do not explain clearly how families are required to report to the program. Keep things vague and general and assure families that they will hardly notice any extra work. Bonus points if you can convince the families that doing the extra reporting work is actually a benefit to them.

9. Change the reporting requirements part way through the year. For many bonus points, keep on changing them for each of the 3 reporting periods. Part marks if you change during the summer and communicate the change. Full marks if you change in the summer and keep everyone in the dark.

10. Misappropriate the funds. Part marks for ambiguity regarding what items families can claim for reimbursement, confusion regarding required forms, and delays in issuing checks.