But there are some folks whom even I recognize. And one of them is Brad Pitt. There was a brilliant comedy skit (from Seattle) after A River Runs Through It came out, where one of the women comedians, throughout the entire show, just kept staring dreamily into the distance saying Mrs. Pitt. Mrs. Brad Pitt. Mrs. Brad Pitt. Still makes me giggle for its highschool-doodle-in-the-margins-of-my-notebooks silliness. Most women my age have btdt.
Where was I. Yeah, so even I had heard vaguely that old Brado dumped somebody & got together with somebody with fat lips & a little one was on the way. But it couldn't be born like normal people. No, it had to be in a remote African country, and by c-section to boot. Sheesh. Ok. Whatever. Now this story crossed my radar: Jolie, Pitt to adopt another child
Apart from the fact that she just had a baby & the entire insanity of adopting another child now, NOW, NOW (because what? The tabloids and the phots and all the hoopla wasn't enough publicity?), apart from that totally weird, whacked out insanity, we have this:
"It's gonna be the balance of what would be the best for Mad and for Z right now.… Another boy, another girl, which country, which race would fit best with the kids."
Whoa there. What's she gonna do, travel the world with a Martha Stewart paint chip card to pick the kid with the right color skin? What on earth are these people thinking???
So, what's the right word? For selecting based on gender and race and country of origin?
Tags:
4 comments:
so true so true...good write..
Sorry Hornblower, but my daughter and I believe you should rethink this one.
Normally I don't give a flying fig what celebrities do. I shut them out of my consciousness as much as possible. But I do care, very much, about adoption.
There are many reasons to choose adoption. For those who can't conceive, or have no partner, or want to give a home to a child already in the world, it is a deeply satisfying experience. And if you are selfish enough to want a healthy baby and cannot wait 7 years for a domestic adoption, international adoption is the way to go.
And do you know what questions we international adoptive parents ask right away? Yeah, we ask those same racist questions, what country? what race? what culture? boy or girl? We have to think about not just nurturing your child, but nurturing your child's ethnic identity. What kind of community do you live in and what would your family support? Now Angie & Brad probably have a few advantages that money brings, but you can be sure that they had to have a home study. That forces you to ask yourself some tough questions that your average biological family may never face.
the Adoptive Families Assoc. of BC currently has 26 countries listed on their intercountry info page. They each have very different eligibility reuirements.
Would you have us flip a coin?
Perhaps you would like to check it out yourself:
http://bcadoption.com/site_page.asp?pageid=58
Hi Sandy & Leila - thanks for dropping by.
I actually do know a fair bit about adoption as my 3 yo nephew is adopted & he was a foreign adoption. So while it is second hand, nevertheless it's something our family has experienced & I'm fortunate to have my nephew live right here in the Lower Mainland so it's not something remote. My dh's brother is also adopted & so we have that experience as well - though his is an adult perspective of being an adopted child.
I have been thinking about this at length & trying to clarify why it bugged me. First of all, it's way too fast following the birth of the baby.
And the other issue is that she made it sound like she was selecting the new child to accessorize her family. Like she's going to be some poster UN multicultural family.
There's a really disturbing aspect of adoption where it seems people are looking for the best baby - trying to rule out certain medical conditions, or having the baby resemble the adoptive parents.... It is tough. I'm not saying it isn't.
But what Pitt & Jolie are doing is weird - they CAN conceive & so presumably they're choosing to adopt for other reasons. I thought the right reason would be to give a home to a child in need, & not to satisfy your own selfish need to have a certain look in your family. Maybe she's just being more honest about the selfish aspect of this than I am.
OTOH, I freely admit that having babies at all is pretty selfish too. And the whole reproductive ethics issue is very troubling. I knew what race my child would be, but I didn't know it would be healthy & I chose not to know its gender. Now that people can choose those things it seems just so weird....
I think I've lost my thread here. It's not that I'm against adoption. I'm not. I'm very for adoption & I think foreign adoption is a very good idea. I worked at Immigration with many families who were doing the adoptions from China & I think it was a fine program. There are millions of orphans in Africa who need a home. We should be having these conversations.
I'm just not so sure that it should be said in a context which makes it sound like you're picking the best van for your family - "oh, I want one that will be comfortable, and that will be safe for my kids and I want the color to be blue."
If she'd said "I feel strongly about providing a home for the many orphans & I believe our family will be blessed by the opportunity to grow through adoption again...." - that I could have lived with (still to early but whatever. Odds are it's a nanny raising these kids anyway).
It's specifically the nitpicking way she described it that bothers me.
You know, I had the exact same thought when I read that comment (good old Comcast homepage -- gives me just enough info about the celebrities that I have a clue what dh is talking about when he says "Brad and Angie had their baby," and my first thought is "do we know a Brad and Angie?"). I think it is kind of nice that people with more money than they can possibly spend and who seem keen on children want to have a large family. As you say, they can afford good nannies. I did think it was a strange comment Right after giving birth. I mean, adopting and making a child feel part of the family has to be time-consuming, and caring for a new baby is time-consuming. Why not pace themselves a bit, and enjoy what they've got? Also, I found the idea of color coordinating the family a bit jarring.
Post a Comment
Go on! Say something!