Windows

I could tell you about the fact that this place is teeny, tiny and no way is it anywhere near the advertised square footage.

I could tell you about the fact that having closets with 9 foot ceilings means that you have a lot of stuff stored up there and trying to move it to a place with 8 foot ceilings is going to be a problem.

Even if there were enough closets here, which there aren't.

And even if they were a normal size, which they aren't. The walk-through master closets are 18 inches deep, for pete's sake. I'm not married to a linebacker but Roo's shirts do not fit. Normal hangers do not quite fit. They have to lean a bit. Which means, that yes, any slippery clothing you may own just slides off the hangers.

I could tell you that I'm trying to not care too much about this because we didn't buy this piece of crap apartment and this is all temporary.

I could tell you that this place has a nice view of the mighty Fraser River, but has very few walls. It's all windows and doors. Which makes bookcase placement a bit tricky.

I could tell you about how my hamster, who used to have his cage in the living room in the old place (you know, the one with walls where you could place furniture), had to be placed in a bedroom here, and how when he rustles about in the night, it sounds exactly like an intruder rustling about in the living room and how that causes an already over-anxious woman to completely lose the ability to sleep.

And I could tell you that the over-anxious woman with the rustling hamster couldn't have fallen asleep anyway because her cold was keeping her awake for 3 nights straight until she caved and bought Nyquil and then she only woke up 3 times a night to obsess about the thing I am going to tell you about.

Windows.

What the hell are developers and builders thinking???!!!

Every room here has a window which is a foot off the ground, opens at the bottom, and opens nice and wide.

Here is Roo demonstrating just how widely the windows open.

Kitchen window - which opens onto the deck

Living Room window - no deck below

Master bedroom - no deck below

Hugo's room - no deck below

Amelia's room - no deck below

Every single window opens just as widely as that deck window which Roo graciously agreed to demonstrate falling out of. Like say, you were playing with cars or dolls or marbles on the windowsill. And say you had the window cracked open a bit because your room was stuffy. And say that your toy just accidentally started to fall out the window and you lunged for it to grab it and you leaned on the window and it opened really nice and wide (because the builder took the trouble to make sure these open really nice and easy, with the gentlest push) and then whoosh, you're flying down from the 8th floor.

That's the kind of stuff I imagine in the middle of the night.

Even the stupid window which opens to the deck can't ever be opened, because the deck is not cat-safe. There is a huge gap between the glass decking barriers and the floor of the deck; plenty wide enough for a small cat (whose IQ is unfortunately also small) to squeeze through.

Roo has finally realized just how much this was bothering me and he's off at Home Despot this morning, trying to find just the right piece of metal or plastic or something to jimmy in the hinges so they only open a few inches. Either that, or a blow torch to weld the damn things shut.